Dr. Sheron's Blog
Guys, does the 1972 Temptations hit, Poppa Was Rollin Stone, describe your experience? The song is about a father who was never around, and “when he died, all he left you was alone.” Are you a man with awful memories of growing up without a father? Do you hate Fathers’ Day? Well, that day is just around the corner, so seize this moment to unpack and confront your negative emotions around your absent dad. Maybe he divorced your mom, or died, or was never there to begin with. Regardless, his absence profoundly affects you in ways that you may not be aware of.
I salute your amazing your mom, but a father gives a son vital gifts that only he can offer such as; nurturing, protection, provision, modeling manhood. I believe that you have succeeded in spite of your absent father, but read a little further, you may see yourself. An absent father creates emotional wounds in the soul of his son. The wounds manifest themselves in complex and deep seated ways. Absent father wounds create:
- insecurity and/or a sense of inferiority because of neglect, lack of affirmation, or abandonment. A tough guy otter shell covers this wound.
-struggles with your purpose/identity, and despite outward success, you have a have a hard time internally trying to figure out who you are.
-inability to sustain healthy, monogamous relationships with women. The act of sex validates and affirms you, so there is no need for deeper, lasting relationships.
If you see yourself in any of those three examples, understand that seeing is the first step to cleansing your wound and being healed. We serve a God who is in the healing business. In Mark’s gospel chapter 8:22-25, we find a two-stage miracle, where Jesus heals a blind man. After the first stage of healing, the man can see but his vision is very blurry. Jesus asks the man if he can see. The man has the option to lie and pretend that he is seeing well. It may have been embarrassing to admit a problem. But the man is honest with Jesus about his problem. He said, “I can see people, but they look like walking trees.” Maybe the way you see yourself is a bit warped, due to your absent father. Now is the time to confess to the Lord. Only when Jesus touches him a second time can he see clearly.
The same miracle can happen in your life. Admit to Jesus that you have emotional wounds. Ask him to heal you. The God I know will heal and restore you.
Ps 107:20 tells us, He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.
A helpful tool to identify and release negative emotions is The Love Detox DVD. Watch this DVD in the privacy of your home and begin to unearth what is really bothering you, and release it from your life.
Your healing is closer than you know.